Money money money

Money money. I absolutely hate money. But, I love it so so. Much. I need more because of my desire to be better than others. And also, life is really boring without it. 

My mind is a mess.

Maybe I should marvel at myself in the mirror to misdirect my mind's meanderings at this momentous moment in my memoire.

If you want to make some cash that seems to not too difficult. It seems like money can absolutely not be the goal if you want to have anything remotely meaningful happen in your life. I literally am just realizing that now for realsies. Its fascinating how words can just go straight through your head without clicking. You HAVE to experience things to actually learn a lesson.

I have gotten to the monetary position in my life that I don't really need to worry about money too too much. Nevertheless, I still am. Maybe having some sort of schedule to my life would make things better. Also, having my fucking car fixed would be phenomenal. Freedom is what I am itching for. 

I wonder if anyone will find this lol.

I don't know how much I will revealing about my life to this blog, however it will be a pretty telling tale of what a meaningless life is like at 19 years of age for a dude in the grand ole year 2024.

My life so far has not been bad at all. I've only recently become extremely fed up with it, and myself. Hanging around with people I'm not sure to be good for me, thinking about things that don't make me happy, just being kind of depressed all the time. I spend all day on my phone pretty much unless someone asks me to do something or I end up going to the gym. It's a bit odd. 

Literally as I write this I start thinking about how I could monetize this and if it would be interesting enough to even consider monetizing pffft.

Some founding father was around my age now but back then doing all that founding stuff. Kinda crazy to think about. I am sooo behind in life!! That's a lie. I have a lot to be greatful for, except for maybe the real spiritual progress I am craving. I feel stuck in life. Especially like I don't deserve any more, like I haven't unlocked some skill to move on to the next level, just waiting in limbo for my eventual death. If you can make sure to get the FUCK OUT of your hometown as soon as you can. I am stuck here doing nothing and sitting and wailing in my own misery of nothingness. I am just depressed lol. Not like anything too serious like I need meds, but just absolutely uninspired. You'll definitely get the uninspired vibe from however this blog page will look. I might write on this agian tomorrow, but we will see. Hopefully you reader have found it somewhat interesting.